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1. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?.....Safe
2. Why are Chavs like slinkies?.....They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
3. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?.....One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
4.What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?.....What you lookin' at?
5. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?.....Paint three stripes on it.
6. Two Chavs in a car without any shit music. Who's driving?.....The Police.
7. What do you call a Chav with 9 GCSE's?..... A fuckin liar
8. What do you call a 30 year old Chavette?.....Granny
9. How many Chavs does it take to clean a floor?.....None, "That's some uvver fellers job innit."
10. Why did the Chav cross the road?.....To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever
11. Two Chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?.....Society
12. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?.....The bride
13. What do you say to a chav in a suit?....."Would the defendent please rise?"
14. Policeman: You're under arrest.....Chav: What the f*ck for?.....Policeman: Swearing at a police officer.
15. What do you call a chav waiting in a bus shelter?.....A party
16. What do you call a 20 year old chav?..... Ask her 7 year old son.
17. What do you do if you run a chav over?.....Put it into reverse just to make sure
18. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?.....Sorted
19. What do you call a Chav in a box?....innit
20. Why is it a shame when 2 chavs drive off a cliff in a car?.....Because a car holds 5
21. What do chavs use as protection during sex?.....A bus shelter!
22. Chav = Council House And Violent or Coucil House Adult Vermin
23. What do you say to a chav with a job?.....Can I have a big mac please
24. What do u call a knife in chaville?....Exhibit A
25. How many chavs does it take to change a light bulb?.....One, they'll screw anything
26. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?.....A start
27. What do you call a Chav at college?.....The cleaner!
28. Why did the chav stare at the carton on orange?.....Because it had CONCENTRATE on it!
29.What do you call a Chavs second home?.....Prison.
30.How do you scare a Chav shitless?.....Play them a recording of a police siren
31.Where do Chavettes go to work?.....Street corners and Mcdonalds
Be proud to be British Because...
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
